If you want to test a person’s patience & perseverance, put him/her in a queue in India. Even if the person is a personification of patience, fellow by-standers will turn them to be a Patient.
My first tryst with queues were in Cinema Theatres (this was long back ..when dinosaurs used to roam the earth with no internet connectivity) . I and my class friends,in wanting to gain the “First Day First Show” tag, used to stand in queue right from early morning only to be bypassed by the ladies arriving at the right place at the right time. Ladies used the non-existent “Ladies Queue ” to grab the bulk of tickets (that included the men folks in their family) only for us to be left so near yet so far from the counter.
My second encounter with queues were in the Railway reservation center. The group that come here is of a more serious personality than the Cinema crowd and a bit more orderly. Tension will be palpable in the air as self-proclaimed queue marshals will shoo away even an innocent person wanting to know where the reservation forms are ! Despite the vigilante , somehow a person would sneak in to get the ticket.
The third and most dreaded place that I dread about standing in a queue is the Hospital. It’s a sorry state where somebody is ill and would need to wait for hours for the Doc., . I would never wish this situation even for my worst enemy. Instead I preferred going the dumbest doctor in the town (as per queue theory he/she has no Queue). I would walk-in & take the pills that the Doctor prescribes and place my hope on Placebo effect or Nature or God (depended on whatever Philosophy I followed for that particular day) to get cured.
An unforgettable Queue incident was when I was lathi-charged (baton charge) by the Hyderabad police for standing in a queue !...this happened during an India-New-Zealand Cricket match in Hyderabad. We were a group of 5 people holding valid tickets and waiting in the queue to gain an entry through the gate. Suddenly, a mob barged in (with fake tickets!) and all hell broke loose. Policemen resorted to lathi-charge and we were battered & bruised up. From that day, I have a great deal of respect for the humble lathi.
With the advent of Internet, its been a while I have stood in a queue in a Cinema theatre or for Railway reservation (After this mayhem called IPL, I have stopped going to Cricket stadiums …:-) ). I only realized lately that, Queues have not vanished and here to stay...only that queues have shifted to the super-marts that sell anything from peanuts to platinum jewels (who buys that?) . In my not-so humble opinion, Queues in super-marts happen because the billing counters are short of manpower as the personnel are shifted out to do the marketing on the floors.
An interesting thing that I have observed in Queues is that irrespective of the place,my queue always moves slower than the other queues. In order to find a scientific solution, I started refreshing the “Queue Theory” from my Under-Graduate course. However, I came to realize later why theories on Queues never become practical. That’s because they do not account for important factor called Intrusion. I vouch that anyone who develops a Queue Theory with Intrusion effect will be awarded the Abel Award ! (one of the highest awards in mathematics!) ... anyway that is for the academic folks...For smaller minds like me, I have found some practical solutions on how to move faster in a queue .
So look out for these before standing in Queue.
1) Avoid Queues ! Instead use Web/Mobile apps wherever applicable.
2) In India, Two is not a company...Two is a crowd!....so avoid Queues where there are more than one person with lot of items..This however does not happen unless it is a bandh day (Strike).
3) Avoid queues where the person before you hold Food vouchers.He/She is sure to pick up a fight with billing lady...subject of controversy will be either of Voucher acceptance or the amount allowed
4) Understand the billing process. For ex., If you buy vegetable or fruit that needs to be weighed separately and tagged , do so and then come to the billing queue.
5) Be shameless in looking into the basket of the person before you to identify if he/she has missed out on the Billing process like the one mentioned above. If indeed they have missed out,Point out to them which would save you from pain of twiddling your thumb while in the middle of his billing process and having to answer 100 people behind you on what is happening.
6) Be wary of people in Queue who are talking about the offers and free items. In 90% of the cases they would have picked an wrong item thinking that it was on offer and they sure are to pick fight with the Billing person.
7) Develop an acumen to identify when a billing counter is going to be opened and leapfrog (a politically correct term for cutting-in) into the new Queue.
8) On some big purchase, Strike a bargain with the Store Employee that allows you to beat the by-standers in the Queue. The warning though is, it may result in a serious heartburn to you because of the heartburn of 50 others folks that you are superseding!
9) However tempting the offer might be, avoid going on the Festival day to the malls . Irrespective of what you do for living, the amount of time you spend in the queue nullifies the value of the offers you get.
10) Act deaf to people with single items! these are intelligent folks who want to move ahead in Queue just because they have a single item to bill.I noticed a guy and his family of five who billed there entire monthly household items, one item at a time at each of the 10 counters and still exited before me waiting for a single item to be billed...
11) And finally, keep your ears, eyes and most importantly your mouth wide open in a Queue. Watch out for the intruders and react like Fire Alarm when you find one!
As they say, You may hate Queues but cannot ignore it. So practice being in a Queue...and develop the alertness in you to cut down your time duration of standing-in...
And then....Grrr!!!..Gosh...Folks!...I need to drop off right now...somebody is cutting into my queue!
Ciao!
My first tryst with queues were in Cinema Theatres (this was long back ..when dinosaurs used to roam the earth with no internet connectivity) . I and my class friends,in wanting to gain the “First Day First Show” tag, used to stand in queue right from early morning only to be bypassed by the ladies arriving at the right place at the right time. Ladies used the non-existent “Ladies Queue ” to grab the bulk of tickets (that included the men folks in their family) only for us to be left so near yet so far from the counter.
My second encounter with queues were in the Railway reservation center. The group that come here is of a more serious personality than the Cinema crowd and a bit more orderly. Tension will be palpable in the air as self-proclaimed queue marshals will shoo away even an innocent person wanting to know where the reservation forms are ! Despite the vigilante , somehow a person would sneak in to get the ticket.
The third and most dreaded place that I dread about standing in a queue is the Hospital. It’s a sorry state where somebody is ill and would need to wait for hours for the Doc., . I would never wish this situation even for my worst enemy. Instead I preferred going the dumbest doctor in the town (as per queue theory he/she has no Queue). I would walk-in & take the pills that the Doctor prescribes and place my hope on Placebo effect or Nature or God (depended on whatever Philosophy I followed for that particular day) to get cured.
An unforgettable Queue incident was when I was lathi-charged (baton charge) by the Hyderabad police for standing in a queue !...this happened during an India-New-Zealand Cricket match in Hyderabad. We were a group of 5 people holding valid tickets and waiting in the queue to gain an entry through the gate. Suddenly, a mob barged in (with fake tickets!) and all hell broke loose. Policemen resorted to lathi-charge and we were battered & bruised up. From that day, I have a great deal of respect for the humble lathi.
With the advent of Internet, its been a while I have stood in a queue in a Cinema theatre or for Railway reservation (After this mayhem called IPL, I have stopped going to Cricket stadiums …:-) ). I only realized lately that, Queues have not vanished and here to stay...only that queues have shifted to the super-marts that sell anything from peanuts to platinum jewels (who buys that?) . In my not-so humble opinion, Queues in super-marts happen because the billing counters are short of manpower as the personnel are shifted out to do the marketing on the floors.
An interesting thing that I have observed in Queues is that irrespective of the place,my queue always moves slower than the other queues. In order to find a scientific solution, I started refreshing the “Queue Theory” from my Under-Graduate course. However, I came to realize later why theories on Queues never become practical. That’s because they do not account for important factor called Intrusion. I vouch that anyone who develops a Queue Theory with Intrusion effect will be awarded the Abel Award ! (one of the highest awards in mathematics!) ... anyway that is for the academic folks...For smaller minds like me, I have found some practical solutions on how to move faster in a queue .
So look out for these before standing in Queue.
1) Avoid Queues ! Instead use Web/Mobile apps wherever applicable.
2) In India, Two is not a company...Two is a crowd!....so avoid Queues where there are more than one person with lot of items..This however does not happen unless it is a bandh day (Strike).
3) Avoid queues where the person before you hold Food vouchers.He/She is sure to pick up a fight with billing lady...subject of controversy will be either of Voucher acceptance or the amount allowed
4) Understand the billing process. For ex., If you buy vegetable or fruit that needs to be weighed separately and tagged , do so and then come to the billing queue.
5) Be shameless in looking into the basket of the person before you to identify if he/she has missed out on the Billing process like the one mentioned above. If indeed they have missed out,Point out to them which would save you from pain of twiddling your thumb while in the middle of his billing process and having to answer 100 people behind you on what is happening.
6) Be wary of people in Queue who are talking about the offers and free items. In 90% of the cases they would have picked an wrong item thinking that it was on offer and they sure are to pick fight with the Billing person.
7) Develop an acumen to identify when a billing counter is going to be opened and leapfrog (a politically correct term for cutting-in) into the new Queue.
8) On some big purchase, Strike a bargain with the Store Employee that allows you to beat the by-standers in the Queue. The warning though is, it may result in a serious heartburn to you because of the heartburn of 50 others folks that you are superseding!
9) However tempting the offer might be, avoid going on the Festival day to the malls . Irrespective of what you do for living, the amount of time you spend in the queue nullifies the value of the offers you get.
10) Act deaf to people with single items! these are intelligent folks who want to move ahead in Queue just because they have a single item to bill.I noticed a guy and his family of five who billed there entire monthly household items, one item at a time at each of the 10 counters and still exited before me waiting for a single item to be billed...
11) And finally, keep your ears, eyes and most importantly your mouth wide open in a Queue. Watch out for the intruders and react like Fire Alarm when you find one!
As they say, You may hate Queues but cannot ignore it. So practice being in a Queue...and develop the alertness in you to cut down your time duration of standing-in...
And then....Grrr!!!..Gosh...Folks!...I need to drop off right now...somebody is cutting into my queue!
Ciao!
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