We live in a world of automatic responses.
Someone cuts us off in traffic → anger flares.
A criticism lands → defensiveness rises.
An old wound gets poked → resentment or revenge bubbles up.
This is the classic stimulus → response loop, the "eye-for-an-eye" pattern etched deep into our nervous system through years of conditioning.
As my notes from early May 2025 explore, this reactivity isn't accidental—it's conditioned. The more it repeats, the more rigid it becomes.
The mind learns: threat → protect/self-preserve → retaliate.
Over time, this becomes the default operating system. We call it character, but often it's just habit wearing a mask.Yet there's a crack in the system.
Meditation—sustained, patient, decades-long meditation—changes the wiring.
Instead of the old loop:Stimulus → Response (Reaction)
Meditation inserts space.
It creates:Stimulus → Ego / "I" → Conscious Choice (e.g., Put others first) → Response
This insertion point is where consciousness, character, and conduct begin to emerge. The reactive "eye-for-an-eye" softens into something wiser, kinder, more deliberate.But the real work happens beneath the surface.
The Layers of Mind: Surface to Depths
Modern life trains us to live at the top layer: intellect and will. We analyze, plan, decide—knowledge stays mostly intellectual, "on the surface," as my notes put it.
Useful, but shallow.Beneath that lies consciousness—the aware field we dip into during quieter moments.Deeper still: the unconscious, the well of the mind.
Here live the forces that truly drive us:
Attachments
Cravings / urges
Addictions
And at the very root: primordial drives — self-will, anger, fear, greed
These aren't surface thoughts. They're ancient, instinctual currents that color everything without us noticing. They fuel the conditioned loops we started with.
In yogic terms, this deeper storehouse aligns with chitta—the reservoir of impressions (samskaras), emotions, and subconscious patterns. (In the classical fourfold model of mind—manas, buddhi, ahamkara, chitta—chitta is often described as the cosmic intelligence or pure memory-bed beneath ego and intellect.)
My notes question whether will itself flows from or into chitta, suggesting it's the root layer where true transformation must reach.
The Long Path: Accessing the Well
Meditation isn't a quick fix. It's a descent.With consistent practice, you gain access below the surface of consciousness. You begin to see underneath cravings and repressed emotions. You can pull them out—observe them without being swept away.This isn't easy. It takes decades of sustained effort.
Why?
Because these primordial drives are buried deep. They are the roots of self-will (the insistent "I want"), anger (protection/defense), fear (survival), and greed (accumulation/scarcity mindset).
Only after long, patient work do you finally touch these roots. When you do, something profound happens: the automatic chains loosen. The "eye-for-an-eye" reflex loses power because its fuel—those unconscious drives—has been seen, felt, and (gradually) released.
Why This Matters
We often think transformation is about adding better habits or stronger willpower. But real change is subtraction: removing the unconscious compulsions that hijack the system.Meditation offers a map:Interrupt the conditioned stimulus-response loop.
Insert conscious space via awareness.
Descend through layers: intellect → consciousness → unconscious/chitta.
Confront and uproot primordial drives.
Live from a freer, less reactive place.
It's not about becoming perfect. It's about becoming present—no longer a puppet of old patterns.
My notes from that Saturday in May end on are unfinished thought about "undigested" and "primordial." Perhaps that's fitting.
The journey doesn't conclude neatly; it unfolds over a lifetime.
If you've ever felt stuck in the same reactions, know this: the roots are deep, but they are reachable.
Start small. Sit. Breathe. Descend.
One day, decades from now, you may look back and realize the well wasn't bottomless after all—it had a floor, and you stood on it.
What primordial drive calls loudest for you right now? Anger? Fear? Greed? Self-will?
The invitation is the same: don't fight it on the surface. Go deeper.Om Shanti.
(If this resonates, I'd love to hear your own experiences with these layers in the comments.)