Desi Rear-Bumper Wisdom: The Director’s Cut

 

(Now with 100% more menace and zero chill)

1. NO PARKING ZONE
   “Park here and all four tyres will be punctured with extreme prejudice. Love, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Puncturewala ”
2. Love thy neighbour
   “But not while driving. Horn is not a love language.”
3. This is a highway, not a runway
   “Unless you’re planning to take off straight to Yama’s garage.
4. Drive like hell
   “And you’ll reach there faster than your GPS predicted. Free express lane included.”
5. Live for today, drive for tomorrow
   “Because tomorrow you’d like to walk without a neck brace.”
6. Mind your brakes or brake your mind
   “Choice is yours: press pedal now or press panic button later.”
7. Hospital ceilings are boring
   “White, cracked, and the last thing you’ll stare at for six months. Avoid the free subscription.”
8. Better be Mr. Late
   “Than the late Mr.”
9. Make love, not war
   “But for heaven’s sake, nothing while driving. Hands on wheel, mind out of gutter.”

Bonus 11th (because Indian roads deserve extra drama):
“After whiskey, driving risky. After curry, driving fury.”Stick these on your truck, tempo, or that uncle’s shining white Ambassador.
Guaranteed 50% fewer accidents, 100% more entertainment.